I Think I Found My Reason To Go To Church

 

Minka Kelly as Lyla Garrity, the born again former head cheerleader of the Dillon Panthers, from the highly acclaimed and lowly watched FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS 

Whether it’s seeking penance, salvation or a chance to be seated next to her in a pew, going to Church could possibly become in vogue.  Amen, praise the lord and praise the great state of Texas.

Derek Jeter Is Taking Tips From The Arse

The phenomenon of www.straightfromthearse.wordpress.com is at an all time high.  I want to thank my loyal readers, all six of you (that includes you Mom), for all of your support.  I am proud to announce that none other than Mr. Yankee, Derek Jeter is a large fan of my work.  It would appear that he’s taking my ranking of THE FINE FIVE quite intently and making it his own personal relationship scorecard.  I say kudos to you Mr. Jeter. 

Rest In Peace Reggie Dunlop

Actor Paul Newman passed away this morning of cancer.  The Academy Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as Hud, Cool Hand Luke and The Color of Money was 83 years of age.  Although his contributions are plenty, for me Newman’s portrayal of player coach Reggie Dunlop in the cult classic Slapshot tops my list.  I think I’ll find my copy of Slapshot and watch it with Nate today.  Here’s a classic exchange from the movie, followed by the movie’s trailer.

Reggie Dunlop: Lard ass Barkley Donaldson,You all saw what happened. Stick down, gloves off, He challenged the Chiefs. Called us names, CALLED US NAMES! But Dave was there. Dave’s a killer.
Johnny Upton: Dave’s a mess.
Reggie Dunlop: But Dave’s out. Who’s gonna take his place?
Ned Braden: Is the answer Jesus?.
Reggie Dunlop:Ok guys. Show us what you got!

 

A Growing List Of Shows That I Can’t Watch With My Newborn Son

With the new television season upon us it has donned on me that I’m pooched.  I mean royally screwed when choosing a television program.  Normally I would trumpet the fall season’s arrival, but this year there’s so much pressure to make wise viewing selections.  Being a new father I have to take a greater responsibility of what I put in front of my newborn son, Nate.  However, my anguish over television program selection has nothing to do with the horrific violence, gratuitous sex or poor language that are on display all too often according some critics and parent advocacy groups. My problem runs much deeper than that.

The Condor Has Landed - Cold Stone reviews the Emmys

After such a ballyhooed annoucement a few months ago, the condor has finally landed and Straight From The Arse is proud to present the insightful musings of Sarah “Cold Stone” Gaade.  Enjoy the recap and add your thoughts about the Emmys with a comment or two. 

It was such an honour and a privilege to get asked to contribute as Awards host correspondent for the ‘Straight from the Arse’ blog. The budget for my travel expenses was quite limited, so I was forced to report from my La-Z-Boy. Here goes it…

The “NEW” Golden Girls?

With the untimely death of Estelle Getty a few months back, producers were left scurrying to replace her as she was set to reprise her role as Sophia in a remake of the popular 80’s television series, The Golden Girls.  Here’s video of Bea Arthur trying to break in some of Estelle Getty’s replacements in an emergency casting call session.  I’m not sure this threesome will have the same chemistry as the originals, but I guess some folks do enjoy the “new” coke, so there’s always a chance for this new golden girls to work.

Proof that the American Team misses Eldrick Woods already at the Ryder Cup

 

This is a picture of the wives and lady friends of the golfers at this year’s Ryder Cup.  They are nice dames to say the least, but who knew that the impact of Tiger’s abscence at this year’s event wouldn’t be only noticed on the course.  The above group could surely be boosted by the appearance of Elin Woods.  In retrospect, couldn’t we all be boosted by her appearance?

 

 

Guillermo Barros Schelotto Returns To BMO

It would appear that the first ever official enemy of this blog, Guillermo Barros Schelotto, is afraid of the Toronto FC fans and will not be playing today.

With forward Guillermo Barros Schelotto missing a second consecutive day of training Thursday and expected to miss the match Saturday at Toronto FC because of a hamstring strain, the onus will be even greater on the defense to play to zero as the Columbus Crew look to extend a four-game winning streak.

The last time Schelotto came to town the FC fans peppered him with some streamers and made the much talked about turf at BMO field his own personal swimming pool.  One can only hope that wind is howling off of Lake Ontario today so his feather flock of seagulls coif is flowing in the in the air for all to pinpoint his location on the sideline.  Thus making it easier for fans to hurl 15 dollar beers in his direction.  Down with Guillermo Barros Schelotto.

Here’s some Youtube footage of his the debacle that was his last visit to Toronto.

The 25 Sexietst Sportscasters: Erin Andrews #2?

COED magazine recently ranked the 25 sexiest sportscasters and with their rankings I have found some egregious errors.  The Fine Five’s number 1, Erin Andrews, is downgraded to being ranked #2 in their rankings.  I haven’t seen such errors in a ranking system since the Junkyard Dog was bypassed as the number one contender for the intercontinental title back in the mid 80’s. 

Part Time UPS Delivery Man: Sid The Delivery Kid

It’s safe to say that I’ve seen my share of home deliveries.  My delivery word follows like so: Domino’s delivers pizzas without fail.  UPS delivers packages on time or you get a refund.  FTD delivers flowers and they make you happy. Sidney Crosby delivers season tickets?  What’s his guarantee?  Cheap booze and a five point night? Crosby, coach Michel Therrien and eight other players hand delivered  season tickets to 35 randomly selected Penguins ticket holders on Wednesday.  Crosby eschewed wearing the mandatory UPS browns instead opting for a Penguins jersey and blue jeans.  Reports indicate that he had to beat off a few Jehovah’s witnesses while making the tickets drop in suburban Pittsburgh. 

He took tickets to Pittsburgh resident David Disney, a season ticket holder since the Penguins’ inception in 1967.  In the spirit of helping out season ticket holders from 1967, the hockey hall of fame should take the Stanley Cup door to door to Leaf season ticket holders.  Like Mr. Disney they too have been season ticket holders since 1967, but at least Disney and Penguin fans can say they’ve seen Lord Stanley.